Being mindful

I snapped at a good friend yesterday over a problem in my computer. Usually, I would have let it go, but this friend has done it again (changed my computer setting for the second time). I guess, the reason I snapped at her was more like to let her know that I was not pleased with her for messing with my computer (which is a personalised item) and that if she had wanted to change something, please check with me first (I thought this is plain courtesy). That was also the reason why I did not apologise immediately after that. However, my mind kept thinking about the matter and I realised that I must apologise in order to be at peace with myself. "A mind that cannot release phenomena is in a state of intoxication; it is important not be intoxicated" (Ven. Ajahn Chah).

So, I pondered over how should I apologise to her and decided on sending her a text message to confess and say that I was sorry that I lost control earlier. She texted back and said that it is okay, she understood that I was not in a good mood. I would have replied: thank you for understanding, but I didn't because I was not seeking for her understanding; I was seeking to release my mind of the matter so that I can be at peace (and not be intoxicated). Now this may sound very selfish, but I think to be mindful, we must first understand what clutters our mind. The whole incident wouldn't have happened if I do not have a cluttered mind, something must have bothered me to such an extent that I snapped at her earlier. My cluttered mind has impeded my thoughtfullness. I did not wish for this state of mind to continue, lest I will be snapping at every one I meet in the next few days ~ I need to clear my mind!

Therefore, I have to watch my mind and become aware of my thoughts; "paying attention in a particular way -- on purpose, in the present moment”(Jon Kabat-Zinn). The best way I can think of to explain this is ~ knowing that you are eating is not the same as eating mindfully (a quote from the Wildmind Buddhist Meditation @
http://www.wildmind.org/applied/daily-life/what-is-mindfulness

Here I would like to share a link on a talk given by Jon Kabat-Zinn on mindfulness (please skip the silly intro part). He talks with such truthfulness and authenticness. I love listening to him talk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc&feature=related

Soulmate: compatibility or complementing

I have always been intrigued with the notion of finding one's soulmate. I had reflected upon this notion many years ago and had concluded (then) that, "soulmate is hard to identify instantaneously and most people do not meet theirs in their current lifetime." I had pondered on its definition: a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity; similarity; love; intimacy; sexuality; spirituality; or compatibility. In a related (spiritual) concept: is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate.

Therefore, when two person (putting gender aside) have the capability of existing or performing in harmonious or congenial combination, does it mean that they have found their soulmate? Does this mean that one's soulmate can be one's sister, brother, female friend, male friend or anyone who has established a close and harmonious relationship with us? I think this is possible and I believe that one can have more than one soulmates in one's life; they appear at a certain phase of our life to bring balance and harmony into our life.

A JoY in My Heart

I woke up this morning with a feeling of JoY in my heart:)

It is a wonderful feeling and I am still reflecting on what has brought the joy back into my heart. It is not the same feeling that I'd feel after I've done something or helped others (which I have been doing for the past decade). It is more like a serene feeling; a feeling of contentment ~ tranquil happiness. Yes, that is exactly how I feel and I wanted to record this feeling in my journal.

I thought about this feeling of tranquil happiness and realised that it has something to do with the wooden Buddha figurine that I have taken from my parents' home during the recent visit. The Buddha figurine has been in my parents' home for 35 years. Now, it sits in my living room and it gives a sense of serenity to my home.

We are what we think we are!

New entry (6 Feb 2011):

"Writing stimulates thoughts; the act of putting pen to paper or finger to keyboard engages our brains. To write we have to think" ~ from my earlier post titled, 'Engaging the brain' (24 Jan 2010). Writing (in any form) stimulates the thoughts and in the process helps to strengthen certain part of the brain. This is one of the reasons for this blog, ie. my living journal.

Entry posted on 1 Feb 2011:

When I was young, I thought that we can't be any more cleverer than what our genetic setup has for each of us; our propensity to learn has its limits. Now, neuroscientists are telling us that our brain cells do not stop growing after 6 yo but keep on growing and making new connections every time we experience something new. We can learn new things even at old age as long as we have a healthy bright brain. A quote from The NY Times: "We can indeed form new brain cells, despite a century of being told it’s impossible." Wow, that's good news indeed. We are what we think we are!

Reading about the new discovery spurs me on to change the way I think, to strengthen and to use my brain more efficiently. As each year passes, I am more aware of age-associated diseases such as Alzheimer and Dementia. Now, all books on regaining and retraining brains write about exercising the brain (eg. reading, doing crosswords or playing brain games such as the ones offered by Lumosity @ http://www.lumosity.com/), eating brain healthy food and being physically active.

This is all very interesting, I will continue to strengthen my brain and hope that I will not be suffering from Alzheimer or Dementia one day :D)

A lost book...

In a recent outstation trip, I found a book on the airport taxi counter. Before, I would have just picked up the book and put it in my bag without a doubt because I believe that finders are keepers.

But at the taxi counter, as I picked up the book and reading the title, I was thinking about the owner of the book. The subject matter is about regaining, retraining and maintaining one's brain. As I love reading anything about our three-pound universe, I can't resist taking the book. So as not to feel guilty (and being mindful about bad karma), I asked the lady behind the taxi counter whether she saw anyone leaving the book there? She shooked her head. So I told her that I am going to take the book with me and I will leave my contact number with her in case the person comes back to claim the book.

Now, in order not to have bad karma, I decided that I am going to sort of "borrow" the "lost book". I will take it with me and will return it should the owner call. If the owner did not call, I will then pass it forward to someone else after reading it.

The rationale; I will not only avoid accumulating bad karma but creating good karma when I pass the book onto some else who needed it... :)

May your day, be a Shay Day

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

I felt so touched with what the team members did for Shay in the following story:

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection."

"Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay' Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Reflection from this story: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

The first week of 2011

The first week of 2011 ~ uneventful but interesting development nevertheless.

I started by reviewing the resolutions I made for 2011: to have more happier thoughts and smile, smile, smile.

Throughout the week I continued reading Destructive Emotions: How can we overcome them? The first time I started reading this book (in Jun 2010), I couldn't relate to the contents. I left it after the first chapter.

What I read in the week reafirms my resolution; firstly, to have happier thoughts. According to the Dalai Lama, emotion and cognition are intertwined; these two elements are inseparable. An emotion is a mental state that has a strong feeling component. To have happy thoughts all the time, I need to learn how to control my mind and to understand what's destructive emotion (not to allow it to control or blind me). It is said that, the true mark of spiritual development lies in how well a person manages disturbing emotions such as anger, envy and jealousy. Through training the mind, one can become more calm and compassionate.

Secondly, to smile, smile, smile. It is said that the Dalai Lama's face has the muscle tone of someone in his twenties, not a man of sixty-four. Apparently, that is a consequence of him never restraining his emotions, but instead letting them show clearly on his face - which means the muscles are used a lot more than usual, thus have more elasticity. This would be a good tip for those who wish to have youthful face muscle tone.

So there, I have justified that my new year resolutions are indeed inline with my spiritual growth. By end of the year, I will not only have better facial muscle tones and be at peace with myself but have compassion for others as well :))

2010: A year of personal transformation

2010 has been a good year for me, not in a materialistic term but in a spiritually way...

"Spiritually in its widest sense can refer to any source of inspiration, awe or wonder that impacts on an individual's identity or sense of purpose. Spiritual growth is about personal transformation and the belief that life is a process of moving towards enhanced awareness."

... at this moment, as I bid goodbye to 2010, I am thankful for the transformation that it has brought unto me :))

the Extraordinary People

According to Paul Ekman (in Destructive Emotion), extraordinary people share four qualities:

1. they emanate a sense of goodness (a transparency between their personal and public life);

2. they are selflessness;

3. they have a compelling personal presence that others find nourishing; and

4. they have amazing powers of attentiveness and concentration.

... images of Buddha, Jesus, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, instantly appear in my mind.

Reminisce: 2010

Here, at home alone in the last few days of 2010, I am in a reminisce mode.

What started as a growth journey in 2009 has evolved into a soul searching journey in 2010.

2010:

* has shown me the path to take to continue my life journey;

* has taught me to not seek answers from outside but from within;

* has led me to examine and reestablished my belief and faith;...

the year has not ended yet, what else will it teach me...

Marriage ~ a mutual consent that robs one's freedom...

"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.

A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development.

But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."
~Rainer Maria Rilke (Letters to a Young Poet)

When a marriage falls apart, one may be awaken with the feeling of continuing where one left off; reliving one's freedom and continuing one's growth/ development...

Sales: greed for acquiring more

20% Off!, 70% Off!, Buy 1 free 1!

Lately, I noticed that I have been missing out on sales... just missed (last weekend)the sales from a shop that I frequent; the recent bodyshop sales; the MoMo sales; etc. Well, I am not going to fret about it anymore (I used to)... now I have taken on a new perspective:

"I see sales as greed for acquiring more and more."

In Buddhism, a person who is on his way to spiritual growth must try to reduce his own selfishness and his strong desire for acquiring more and more. He should reduce his strong attachment to possessions which, if he is not mindful, can enslave him to greed.

At a juncture

New entry (31 Jan 2011):

I am happy to have found a Buddhist temple (near my home) that has Buddhism books written/translated into English. Have taken a few books with me and am currently reading: "Everything is teaching us -- a collection of teachings by Venerable Ajahn Chah."

Entry posted on 14 Nov 2010:

At this juncture, Buddhism has come into my life and I intend to find out "why Buddhism?"

Nobody had preached Buddhism to me nor was I lured into it. One thing lead to another...

... I was visiting a friend and she was on her way to the Buddhist temple so I tagged along. Later, she gave me a book about Buddhist parables and stories. Weeks later, while spending a weekend at my family home, I found a book about Buddhism on the bookshelf (left by my brother). I brought the book back with me and it has been by my bedside for four months now. Although I had read it from cover to cover, I am still keeping it by my bedside until I get another book...

The journey so far...

"Compassionate acts can alter your fate... conversely, acts of viciousness can adversely affect your fate"

A friend of mine posted in fb: "nearly cried at work tonight when I had to throw away baskets and baskets of perfectly good food. So wrong!!!!" I too thought that it is so very wrong!.

In Buddhism, the performance of good actions gives rise to merit, a quality which purifies and cleanses the mind. Merit is important to help us along our journey through life...

...it is connected to what are good and beneficial to oneself and others, and can improve quality of the mind. While the material wealth a person gathers can be lost by theft, flood, fire, etc., the benefit of merits follows him from life to life and cannot be lost, although can be exhausted if no attempts are made to perform more merits.

The Buddha further explained that, merit opens the doors of opportunity everywhere. A meritorious person will succeed in whatever venture he puts his effort into. Good deeds performed will manifest in many ways and be the fountainhead of many wondrous results (and in my opinion, sometimes the receiving end could be the people close to you).

Growing interest in Buddhism

I think the most authentic person in the world must be the Buddha. The Buddha was born to dispel the darkness of ignorance and to show the world how to be free from suffering.

... According to the Buddha, a religion of peace is based on the principle of causing no harm to oneself as well as others and its followers are to cultivate a harmoniouss, liberal and peaceful life. His teaching illuminates the way for mankind to cross from a world of darkness, hatred and suffering to a new world of light, love and happiness. He said, "One must not accept my teachings from reverence, but first try them as gold is tried by fire." He showed that man has the power to think for himself, raised his selfworth and that he can reach the highest knowledge and spiritual enlightenment by his own effort.

and by living the Buddhist way; walking the middle path of moderation and meditating to purify the mind, one can learn to live a richer life of peace and happiness.

A wish to be rich

"I wish (plan) to be rich, very rich! Not for the money but for the use of money as a platform to help me achieve my ideals", a quote from Anas Zubedy @ "http://letusaddvalue.blogspot.com/".

I like the way he puts it; the use of money as a platform to help achieve my ideals. However, my idea of rich does not mean only in terms of money but...

... rich in knowledge and wisdom. My wish is to help families with special needs children. I plan to share my knowledge and gather friends who are like minded to help them. The path of my life has lead me to this juncture and this is the path that I am taking...

Self Care

I think the one thing that is of crucial importance to one's health is one's mental well being, ie. taking care of one's state of mind and being mindful of what one is doing at all time...

... One way to keep tab of our mental well being is to start a personal journal (diary, if you like), ie. a personal narrative. Research shows that journal provides the author to use her 'voice'to instigate reflection and shift in understanding; as critical intervention in social, political and cultural life'(Jones, 2005). ‘Voice’ often connotes the capacity or right to speak; its meaning is political (Hertz, 1997). Evidence indicates that a sense of personal control, empowerment and self-determination are associated with positive mental health (Prilleltensky, 1994).

In posting this, I hope that everyone of us will find a way to sound our voices and to be empowered to take control of events that could affect the state of our mental well-being. I have found mine in writing; revisiting what I have written helped me think thru things and look at them from a new perspective. In time to come, I will become more at peace with myself/everything in life and lead a simple and stress-free life. This then would be my authentic self(?):-)

Liver Cleanse... update

New entry, April 2, 2011:

Please also read the entry in the May 2010 post for the latest update on herbal cleansing program :D

Entry posted on August 13, 2010:

It's been a couple of months since I wrote here, been busy de-toxifying...
...the white powder that I mentioned in my previous blog (which tasted like milk of magnesia) is epsom salt. Since May, I had done 3 liver cleanse and apparently, one has to do up to 7 times in order to flush out at least 90% of toxins from the liver. The procedure that I took was from Dr Hulda Clark's liver cleansing program. Although some skeptics said that the formation of 'stones' (following Dr Hulda's detox program) were the results of the reactions between olive oil and the acid in the stomach, I did feel lightweight after going thru it. It does help me shed some of the water from my body (my body was in a 'bloated state' due to water retention).

I have placed the link below for anyone interested to know more about her procedure. Providing the link here is for general information only, please read more about detox before deciding. Please also read my earlier post mentioned above.

http://www.drclark.net/en/cleanses_clean-ups/liver_cleanses/advanced_livere_cleanse.php

Health Farm and Liver Flush

New entry, April 22, 2012:

It has been a year since I posted this and I noticed that this post gets quite a number of viewers. It would do injustice to the products if I don't write about the results.

Now, after detoxing with the products, I continued with the Bio Slim and several other supplements. I especially like the BM&C and Enjuvenate (really effective!). You will need to go on with Bio Slim for 3 consecutive months before you see any results, ...and the comments (compliments!!??) I get nowadays are, eg:

"you look brigther these days";
"you lost weight!";
"you look younger!"

but then, how I look at the outset is not important as much as how I feel inside ;)) and I think it is time I do another round of detox.... ;)

Previous Entry, April 2, 2011:



Since my last detox program May last year, I have been looking out for herbal based program. Last month, a friend introduced me to the Unicity Clearstart 30-day Cleansing Program: the 3-step system that will clean the intestinal walls to remove toxins and debris, neutralize unwanted organisms and flush them out. The 3 products (picture) claims to deliver sustainable, long-term results leading to better overall health, vitality and a stronger sense of wellbeing.

Today is my first day on the program - apparently, I should see some results within a week. Let's wait and see... :D)


Entry posted on May 8, 2010:


In my earlier post I had mentioned about my liver's condition, which according to some doctors is unhealthy and is filled with toxins. I was shocked to learn about my liver's condition because eating to me is for living. I don't indulge in food and I had cut down on meat and oily stuff. I was told that if I do not do something, I will encounter health problem pretty soon.

Desperately need to alter my lifestyle and diet, I searched the internet for a health farm. A relative recommended me Aenon Health Care Farm http://health.aenon.org.my/specialities/, which is just an hour's drive from my home.

...Last month, I signed up for a 5-day healthy lifestyle program at Aenon Health Care Farm. The 5-day stay has taught me a lot about healthy cooking, eating and dieting. The program started with a 3-day fasting on juice and a liver flush drink at the end of the fasting. During the 5-day stay, I had to do daily morning exercise and attend healthy cooking sessions, nutrition and medical lectures and also therapy sessions (such as hot & cold baths, salth bath, mud bath, russian bath, body massage). The 5-day stay was a good break for me and has changed my cooking style and diet. I am now on a 3-month oil and meat free diet and I will check my liver's condition again after 3 month to see the effectiveness of this new diet.

With the new knowledge I learnt at the health farm, I started to look for fruit and vegetable enzymes products to supplement my new diet. An old acquaintance happens to be a supplier and I bought some from her together with fruit fibre supplements. She suggested that I do another liver flush, this time with a different concoction from the health farm, ie. some white powder (which tasted like milk of magnesia), some kind of salt, olive oil and grapefruit juice. After drinking the concoction, I was astounded to see the results: 'greenish stones' in my stools. Some skeptics said that the formation of 'stones' were the results of the reactions between olive oil and the acid in the stomach. Whatever it is, after the flush, I felt rejuvenated and a feeling of lightness. I am definitely doing another flush in two weeks time. Apparently, regularly flushings help to eliminate toxins, lower cholestrol level and improve blood circulation... and in 3 month's time, a healthier me will emerge :)

Beliefs and faith

Does having a belief and faith in a religion make a person authentic?

I was borned into a family of taoism faith and changed my religion to christianity when I got married. All these years I have not been very religious not because that I don't believe in God, but I didn't like the way some people preach about their religions. Religion is a human activity and a human construct (human interpretation).

I think, people can still be authentic even though they are not religious; it is more the human part of us that make us an authentic person than our belief or faith.