The other day, while sitting in a waiting room, I heard the sounds of two people shouting and one sounded like she is defending herself. Later, in the treatment room, I asked the person attending to me, what happened out there earlier? I was told that there were some issues of distrust.
The same situation happened to me
... late last year (minus the shouting). I was visiting a friend and when I left her place, she called me to ask whether I remembered some stuff she showed me earlier. I replied yes and I said she had put them back into the box she took from. She claimed that she couldn't find the box and asked me whether I remembered where she put it? To which I replied, I didn't notice where she put it. I told her that she may have misplaced it and asked her to look in everyroom. Later, she said that she knew who took it and I asked her who did she suspect? Since I was the last person visiting her, I asked her did she suspect me? Her reply was, "I am tired, I will tell you later" Her reply shocked me! She could have replied that I am not a suspect instead of having me wondering why on earth would she suspect me??? I wrote her a message telling her what I think of her taking me as a suspect. The next day, some friends came over to her place and guess what???They found the box of stuff! Reflecting on the incident, should I forget about it and continue to be her friend or cease all contact?
Why are there so much distrust among people, even between spouses, family members, friends and people one meet everyday? What would you do if you are in such a situation? Do you:-
a. cease contact with such person
b. advise the person to value relationship above all and be rational
c. get away and stay in a monastery (where there is no distrust or greed)
Third option is tempting but for the time being, I'll go with the first one.
I think distrust is an unfortunate side effect of the society we live in. People learn to distrust from past experiences where they've offered trust, and been hurt in response.
ReplyDeleteIt's come to the point that someone may yell at a girl offering him a free flower, because he's afraid it's part of some advanced psychological attack to part him with his money.
And Malaysians will definitely think twice about the authenticity of a beggar asking for money, no matter how sad, pathetic and deformed the beggar appears.
As for your relationship with cranky-box-lady, I think an important part of relationships is accepting peoples many many faults. :)
Regards
Mark
http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com/
Hey, YOU are my very first visitor to write a comment! TQ!
ReplyDeleteActually, I do emphatise with my friend, she was laden with work-related stress and was quite emotional. I accepted her invitation to spend a few days at her place because I thought my visit might lighten up her spirit and we actually had a good two-day together.
To be authentic is to learn to forgive and forget...
I think i will go for number one... If we are still a children we can say that people will change. But if they are adults, it maybe already become a habit so will takes so much times to advise and they might not listen to you. So better i be friends with someone that really i can rely on. Trust is the key for any relationships whether it is friendship, family or spouses.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Rose
Exactly my point, Rose. I felt hurt to think that she did not trust me.
ReplyDeleteDo I get a prize for being the first commenter? :)
ReplyDeleteHm, your blog didn't notify me on responses to my comments though.
Well, sometimes though we're on the 'losing end' of an interaction, like someone is venting their stress out on us unreasonably, we can just think of it as being supportive of that person.
On forgiving and forgetting, I'm unfortunately very bad at forgetting! Things stick in my mind for ages. Wish I could say the same for my study assignments. :)
Regards
Mark
http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com
A big 'THANK YOU!'
ReplyDeleteI am not sure how to link responses to email. Let me work it out.
Ooh, I figured it out. There's a little 'Subscribe by email' thing at the bottom of the comment box. =-P
ReplyDeleteRegards
Mark
http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com
I thought so to. Thanks.
ReplyDelete