2010: A year of personal transformation

2010 has been a good year for me, not in a materialistic term but in a spiritually way...

"Spiritually in its widest sense can refer to any source of inspiration, awe or wonder that impacts on an individual's identity or sense of purpose. Spiritual growth is about personal transformation and the belief that life is a process of moving towards enhanced awareness."

... at this moment, as I bid goodbye to 2010, I am thankful for the transformation that it has brought unto me :))

the Extraordinary People

According to Paul Ekman (in Destructive Emotion), extraordinary people share four qualities:

1. they emanate a sense of goodness (a transparency between their personal and public life);

2. they are selflessness;

3. they have a compelling personal presence that others find nourishing; and

4. they have amazing powers of attentiveness and concentration.

... images of Buddha, Jesus, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, instantly appear in my mind.

Reminisce: 2010

Here, at home alone in the last few days of 2010, I am in a reminisce mode.

What started as a growth journey in 2009 has evolved into a soul searching journey in 2010.

2010:

* has shown me the path to take to continue my life journey;

* has taught me to not seek answers from outside but from within;

* has led me to examine and reestablished my belief and faith;...

the year has not ended yet, what else will it teach me...

Marriage ~ a mutual consent that robs one's freedom...

"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.

A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development.

But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."
~Rainer Maria Rilke (Letters to a Young Poet)

When a marriage falls apart, one may be awaken with the feeling of continuing where one left off; reliving one's freedom and continuing one's growth/ development...

Sales: greed for acquiring more

20% Off!, 70% Off!, Buy 1 free 1!

Lately, I noticed that I have been missing out on sales... just missed (last weekend)the sales from a shop that I frequent; the recent bodyshop sales; the MoMo sales; etc. Well, I am not going to fret about it anymore (I used to)... now I have taken on a new perspective:

"I see sales as greed for acquiring more and more."

In Buddhism, a person who is on his way to spiritual growth must try to reduce his own selfishness and his strong desire for acquiring more and more. He should reduce his strong attachment to possessions which, if he is not mindful, can enslave him to greed.

At a juncture

New entry (31 Jan 2011):

I am happy to have found a Buddhist temple (near my home) that has Buddhism books written/translated into English. Have taken a few books with me and am currently reading: "Everything is teaching us -- a collection of teachings by Venerable Ajahn Chah."

Entry posted on 14 Nov 2010:

At this juncture, Buddhism has come into my life and I intend to find out "why Buddhism?"

Nobody had preached Buddhism to me nor was I lured into it. One thing lead to another...

... I was visiting a friend and she was on her way to the Buddhist temple so I tagged along. Later, she gave me a book about Buddhist parables and stories. Weeks later, while spending a weekend at my family home, I found a book about Buddhism on the bookshelf (left by my brother). I brought the book back with me and it has been by my bedside for four months now. Although I had read it from cover to cover, I am still keeping it by my bedside until I get another book...

The journey so far...

"Compassionate acts can alter your fate... conversely, acts of viciousness can adversely affect your fate"

A friend of mine posted in fb: "nearly cried at work tonight when I had to throw away baskets and baskets of perfectly good food. So wrong!!!!" I too thought that it is so very wrong!.

In Buddhism, the performance of good actions gives rise to merit, a quality which purifies and cleanses the mind. Merit is important to help us along our journey through life...

...it is connected to what are good and beneficial to oneself and others, and can improve quality of the mind. While the material wealth a person gathers can be lost by theft, flood, fire, etc., the benefit of merits follows him from life to life and cannot be lost, although can be exhausted if no attempts are made to perform more merits.

The Buddha further explained that, merit opens the doors of opportunity everywhere. A meritorious person will succeed in whatever venture he puts his effort into. Good deeds performed will manifest in many ways and be the fountainhead of many wondrous results (and in my opinion, sometimes the receiving end could be the people close to you).

Growing interest in Buddhism

I think the most authentic person in the world must be the Buddha. The Buddha was born to dispel the darkness of ignorance and to show the world how to be free from suffering.

... According to the Buddha, a religion of peace is based on the principle of causing no harm to oneself as well as others and its followers are to cultivate a harmoniouss, liberal and peaceful life. His teaching illuminates the way for mankind to cross from a world of darkness, hatred and suffering to a new world of light, love and happiness. He said, "One must not accept my teachings from reverence, but first try them as gold is tried by fire." He showed that man has the power to think for himself, raised his selfworth and that he can reach the highest knowledge and spiritual enlightenment by his own effort.

and by living the Buddhist way; walking the middle path of moderation and meditating to purify the mind, one can learn to live a richer life of peace and happiness.

A wish to be rich

"I wish (plan) to be rich, very rich! Not for the money but for the use of money as a platform to help me achieve my ideals", a quote from Anas Zubedy @ "http://letusaddvalue.blogspot.com/".

I like the way he puts it; the use of money as a platform to help achieve my ideals. However, my idea of rich does not mean only in terms of money but...

... rich in knowledge and wisdom. My wish is to help families with special needs children. I plan to share my knowledge and gather friends who are like minded to help them. The path of my life has lead me to this juncture and this is the path that I am taking...

Self Care

I think the one thing that is of crucial importance to one's health is one's mental well being, ie. taking care of one's state of mind and being mindful of what one is doing at all time...

... One way to keep tab of our mental well being is to start a personal journal (diary, if you like), ie. a personal narrative. Research shows that journal provides the author to use her 'voice'to instigate reflection and shift in understanding; as critical intervention in social, political and cultural life'(Jones, 2005). ‘Voice’ often connotes the capacity or right to speak; its meaning is political (Hertz, 1997). Evidence indicates that a sense of personal control, empowerment and self-determination are associated with positive mental health (Prilleltensky, 1994).

In posting this, I hope that everyone of us will find a way to sound our voices and to be empowered to take control of events that could affect the state of our mental well-being. I have found mine in writing; revisiting what I have written helped me think thru things and look at them from a new perspective. In time to come, I will become more at peace with myself/everything in life and lead a simple and stress-free life. This then would be my authentic self(?):-)

Liver Cleanse... update

New entry, April 2, 2011:

Please also read the entry in the May 2010 post for the latest update on herbal cleansing program :D

Entry posted on August 13, 2010:

It's been a couple of months since I wrote here, been busy de-toxifying...
...the white powder that I mentioned in my previous blog (which tasted like milk of magnesia) is epsom salt. Since May, I had done 3 liver cleanse and apparently, one has to do up to 7 times in order to flush out at least 90% of toxins from the liver. The procedure that I took was from Dr Hulda Clark's liver cleansing program. Although some skeptics said that the formation of 'stones' (following Dr Hulda's detox program) were the results of the reactions between olive oil and the acid in the stomach, I did feel lightweight after going thru it. It does help me shed some of the water from my body (my body was in a 'bloated state' due to water retention).

I have placed the link below for anyone interested to know more about her procedure. Providing the link here is for general information only, please read more about detox before deciding. Please also read my earlier post mentioned above.

http://www.drclark.net/en/cleanses_clean-ups/liver_cleanses/advanced_livere_cleanse.php

Health Farm and Liver Flush

New entry, April 22, 2012:

It has been a year since I posted this and I noticed that this post gets quite a number of viewers. It would do injustice to the products if I don't write about the results.

Now, after detoxing with the products, I continued with the Bio Slim and several other supplements. I especially like the BM&C and Enjuvenate (really effective!). You will need to go on with Bio Slim for 3 consecutive months before you see any results, ...and the comments (compliments!!??) I get nowadays are, eg:

"you look brigther these days";
"you lost weight!";
"you look younger!"

but then, how I look at the outset is not important as much as how I feel inside ;)) and I think it is time I do another round of detox.... ;)

Previous Entry, April 2, 2011:



Since my last detox program May last year, I have been looking out for herbal based program. Last month, a friend introduced me to the Unicity Clearstart 30-day Cleansing Program: the 3-step system that will clean the intestinal walls to remove toxins and debris, neutralize unwanted organisms and flush them out. The 3 products (picture) claims to deliver sustainable, long-term results leading to better overall health, vitality and a stronger sense of wellbeing.

Today is my first day on the program - apparently, I should see some results within a week. Let's wait and see... :D)


Entry posted on May 8, 2010:


In my earlier post I had mentioned about my liver's condition, which according to some doctors is unhealthy and is filled with toxins. I was shocked to learn about my liver's condition because eating to me is for living. I don't indulge in food and I had cut down on meat and oily stuff. I was told that if I do not do something, I will encounter health problem pretty soon.

Desperately need to alter my lifestyle and diet, I searched the internet for a health farm. A relative recommended me Aenon Health Care Farm http://health.aenon.org.my/specialities/, which is just an hour's drive from my home.

...Last month, I signed up for a 5-day healthy lifestyle program at Aenon Health Care Farm. The 5-day stay has taught me a lot about healthy cooking, eating and dieting. The program started with a 3-day fasting on juice and a liver flush drink at the end of the fasting. During the 5-day stay, I had to do daily morning exercise and attend healthy cooking sessions, nutrition and medical lectures and also therapy sessions (such as hot & cold baths, salth bath, mud bath, russian bath, body massage). The 5-day stay was a good break for me and has changed my cooking style and diet. I am now on a 3-month oil and meat free diet and I will check my liver's condition again after 3 month to see the effectiveness of this new diet.

With the new knowledge I learnt at the health farm, I started to look for fruit and vegetable enzymes products to supplement my new diet. An old acquaintance happens to be a supplier and I bought some from her together with fruit fibre supplements. She suggested that I do another liver flush, this time with a different concoction from the health farm, ie. some white powder (which tasted like milk of magnesia), some kind of salt, olive oil and grapefruit juice. After drinking the concoction, I was astounded to see the results: 'greenish stones' in my stools. Some skeptics said that the formation of 'stones' were the results of the reactions between olive oil and the acid in the stomach. Whatever it is, after the flush, I felt rejuvenated and a feeling of lightness. I am definitely doing another flush in two weeks time. Apparently, regularly flushings help to eliminate toxins, lower cholestrol level and improve blood circulation... and in 3 month's time, a healthier me will emerge :)

Beliefs and faith

Does having a belief and faith in a religion make a person authentic?

I was borned into a family of taoism faith and changed my religion to christianity when I got married. All these years I have not been very religious not because that I don't believe in God, but I didn't like the way some people preach about their religions. Religion is a human activity and a human construct (human interpretation).

I think, people can still be authentic even though they are not religious; it is more the human part of us that make us an authentic person than our belief or faith.

Organic Farming

Whenever I shop for groceries and vegetables, I would pass the organic section and compare prices. The price for 2 carrots (organic) is rm5.50 against rm1.90 for a pack imported from Australia (non organic); a loaf of organic wholemeal bread rm7.50. So I am thinking that the only way to go fully organic is do your own organic farming and to bake your own bread using organic ingredients, ie. ...

... going back to the basics.

To do that I would need a big garden space and time. Farming is a fulltime job. Even if I have the garden space (or decide to find one), could I afford the time and can I do it? I am presently toying with the idea of moving back to my family home and start organic farming. I might one day...

The true meaning of life...

New entry (31 Jan 2011):

Since reading and understanding some of the teachings of Buddha, I realized that I no longer need to find the true meaning of life, instead strive to live a more meaningful life. In order to achieve that, all I hv to do is to focus on being mindful, ie. mindful of the way I think and live ~ to avoid accumulating bad karma; to increase good karma. Being mindful allow me to be more compassionate towards others, thus creating positive interactions and good relationships with others.

Entry posted on 24 March 2010:

Three months ago when I created this blog, I had asked myself, why authentic living? Now, reflecting on the first question that I posted on this blog, "have I found the meaning of life?" (Jan 4, 2010), I realise that the "true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche" (Viktor Frankl, 1959).

In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl explained that being human always point, and is directed, to something or ...

... someone other than oneself, ie. be it a meaning to fulfil or another human being to encounter. According to him, we can discover our true meaning of life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone (ie. loving someone); and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering - happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.

The more one forgets himself (by giving himself to a cause to serve another) the more human he is and the more he actualises himself. A similar explanation was given by Ekhart Tolle (in his book, A New Earth), ie. one has to make dynamic goals in life instead of static ones in order to be in full alignment with the universe - fulfillment of a purpose? (read my post on 18 Mar 2010).

Reading Frankl and Tolle's books made me search for the path that I need to take to live authentically. Although in the path that I decided to take entails suffering or pain: I can respond by being responsible and be worthy of my suffering. Frankl wrote, "without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete. The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity (even under the most difficult circumstances) to add a deeper meaning to his life."

My life, my choice

New entry (5 Jan 2011):

According to Buddhism ~ "to recognize the possibility of being free is the starting point of the path of inner transformation" and "the real measure of spiritual development lies in how well a person manages disturbing emotions such as anger, envy and jealousy"

Writing this entry today, I realized that I have grown stronger spiritually and I have more understanding of the purpose of life and how to live a more meaningful life.

Entry posted on 13 March 2010:

"I have absolute freedom: I am free to choose how to live my life and responsible for my choice." (Alee)

It is I who is to be blamed because it is I who made the decision/choice of my life.

Would saying these statements clear the many thoughts from my mind and would I become more at peace with myself and everyone around me?

A New Earth?

I have just finished reading Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth: Awakening to your life's purpose. I remembered reading the review on this book sometime ago but wasn't that interested in it. However, a few days ago, while in a bookshop it caught my attention and I decided to purchase it.

The day after I bought the book, my daughter came back from her church group activity and informed me that her church member told her about this book ...

... and mentioned that it is something like a new 'cult' similar to the comments on The Secret a few years ago. Since I haven't finished the book, I reserve my comment.

Now, having read the book, my opinion is that it is a person's (author's) view of what being human is like; what sort of 'being' that you are suppose to be? And he believes that every one of us is a part of something Whole; therefore we are a part of a Whole universe and will be affected by the universal force (which can work for us, with us or against us). Each of us need to enter into full alignment with the principle of the universe. Translated simply; make dynamic goals in life instead of static ones. And the time to enter into full alignment is the Now, the Presence.

"Dynamic goal empowers and points toward an activity that you are engaged in and through which you are connected to other human beings as well as to the Whole. Instead of seeing yourself as a famous actor or writer and so on, see yourself inspiring countless people with your work and enriching their lives. Feel how that activity enriches or deepens not only your life but that of countless others. Feel yourself being an opening through which energy flows from the unmanifested Source of all life through you for the benefit of all" (Tolle, 2005:305).

If you have read the book, please share your comments.

CHI Workshop in KL

New entry (30 January 2011):

The Malaysian Child Helpline was launched in Nov 2010 in conjuction with Talian Nur. The number to call is 15999

Entry posted on 15 march 2010:

The CHI (Child Helpline Intl) ASEAN peer to peer exchange workshop 2010 was held last week in KL. Reps came from Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia, Brunei, Thailand and Msia. Also in attendance were reps from Swizterland and the Netherlands. The situation given by every country's rep is not very pretty and much more effort needed to done for our young children ...

... to enable them to stand up and come forward to seek help. Many children are helpless and don't know how or where to seek help. With the implementation of child helpline, it is hoped that we can help these helpless children and empower them to have a better life and future.

The success of child helpline in reaching out to the children is dependent on the support of many parties, ie. parents, communities, ngos, corporate sponsorship, media coverage, police and government agencies involved. I was informed that the child helpline in India is able to reach the child in trouble within an hour after the call of help came in. Such speed and urgency is important to remove/save the child from dangerous situation.

The stories that were shared by the reps were so sad and touched each and everyone of us. Even though I was not involve directly in any particular case, listening to their stories made me realised that experiential knowledge can be passed on when people become very involved with each other in conversation. Burnard (1988) put it succinctly, 'it is only when we are so detached from others that we treat them as objects that no experiential learning can occur.'

International Women's Day- A belated wish

Happy International Women's Day to all my female visitors. I apologise for the belated wish. I had made a mental note to wish my female friends yesterday. Unfortunately, another agenda occupied my mind more and I totally forgotten about it until today.

The agenda which took precedence was related to women, ie. my involvement in the Malaysian Child Helpline initiative under the umbrella of the Child Helpline International ...

... which has its HQ in the Netherlands. CHI's main aim is to provide protection for children all over the world and to intervene where necessary. Most of CHI's initiatives have the support of local governments, NGOs and sponsorships from international organisations like unicef, plan. Do visit the website and help in any way you can.

http://www.childhelplineinternational.org/en/network/howitbegan"

Phenomenal stories...

Recently, I heard two stories... that left me feeling 'in awe' of how great things..., wonderful things happen to people who are givers, who don't think of getting anything in return. I am honoured to be associated with such wonderful, genuine and authentic people.

The first story was about how this person quit her stressful job and wanted to ...

... start a homebased business. Not knowing how or where to start, she sat in her kitchen and started talking to herself. Later when she was cleaning her house, she happened to look at a portrait of Jesus she bought few years ago and decided to have a conversation with the Lord Jesus. She did this everyday until one day, she realised that Lord Jesus had heard her; she knew exactly how she is going to start her home business and what she must do. Lord Jesus has shown her the path that she should take. After that, unexpected wonderful things happened everytime she had a conversation with Lord Jesus. So, one day, she decided to ask Lord Jesus, "If you heard me, please give me some indication that it is you'" That night, she dreamt of Lord Jesus. The next day, she woke up with a wonderful feeling and knew that it is indeed, Lord Jesus. Wow, what a phenomenal story!

The second story was about a family which had wanted to buy a home but had to put it off for many years. Until last year, when an aquaintance they knew (who is a successful man) decided to give them a house with renovation and fittings all thrown in! The S&P was signed under the husband's name. This family has always been a giver and helped a lot of people. They were speechless and couldn't believe thier eyes when they saw the house. They are still in a daze (I would too!) and are thankful to God. Another phenomenal story!

Once in a while, we hear such phenomenal stories and they remind us to do good to other people, be a giver and if we were to ask for something, let the receiver be another person, not ourselves.